Molson’s Best Product is His Beer; An Open Letter to the Big Boss
Dear Geoff Molson, I would like to take a snippet of time out of my busy schedule to collect my thoughts towards one of your products; it would do my heart a world of good if you would oblige.
Having never tasted a single drop of your precious brew on my taste buds before, my personal opinion on how smooth it goes down is invalid. Now I am quite certain your business is going quite swimmingly what with all of your buyers practically consuming your liquid like it is natural spring water. Furthermore, I applaud you on how successful that business has become for you; I’ve heard nothing but rave reviews, so congratulations are most definitely in order.
My “beef”, if you will, however is about your other business, you know, that entertainment one? That one that should be your pride and Joy? Les Canadiens? Yeah, you know that one?
Bell Centre rocking those white towels
Photo: Shawn Carpenter
Unsurprisingly, just like your beer, it has made you quite rich. You most likely don’t even check your bank statements, I mean is there a point? Your baby is the ultimate “get rich quick scheme”, except for the fact that the money doesn’t stop coming. That holy cathedral known as au Centre Belle has been sold-out since 2004, but of course you already knew that. And how can one forget about game seven of the 2010 Eastern Conference Semi-Final against the Pittsburgh Penguins when your team came out victorious, but the best part was that the Bell Centre miraculously was sold out when the game was actually played at Mellon Arena. If you sell out your building to watch your team play on the big TVs in someone else’s arena, I can’t even begin to imagine the heavenly type of toilet paper you use for those unsanitary moments.
But here’s where I get stumped, because in my professional ordinary Joe opinion, it seems like those riches that you rake in on a daily basis mean a lot more to you than the actual product itself. Obviously I am no mathematician, but does it not seem logical that the more money spent, the more money you will get in return? I don’t know if you have ever “flipped a house” before, but since I myself have, I’ll let you in on a few tips. When you flip a house, typically you “gut” the whole thing right down to the foundation and then follow up by renovating the home and ultimately creating a brand-new house. You’re a smart guy and you understand, you need to spend the money to make the home new again, and until you sign the title deed over to someone else, you wont receive any profit. Again, it’s important to note that to make money, you need to spend money.
As an owner of two booming businesses, you clearly are a wise man and know a thing or two about money. As it relates to your hockey team, wouldn’t you agree that a long playoff run would make millions in profit for your club? Seems fairly simple to me with the fact that playoff hockey tickets are substantially more expensive than regular season games. On top of that, considering the opponent, a rival club would also inflate ticket sales dramatically. As I stated earlier about my math skills, I don’t have any, but I do understand the simple aspect of how to expand a business and “milk” every penny out of its clients. That being said, these simple truths are much easier said than done.
Now Mr. Molson sir, without taking up too much more of your time, I would like to ask you few questions before I conclude my thoughts if you please, merci beaucoup.
With respect to all the stress I’m sure you go through on a daily basis with regards to your businesses and of course your young family, life isn’t all rainbows and butterflies as you already know, but with that being said, I would love to know what is your thought process when you see your product getting booed off its home ice? I mean this isn’t the church choir getting booed for not hitting the high notes, rather this is YOUR hockey team getting booed by the very fans who spent good money to sit in YOUR building and watch YOUR garbage team play garbage hockey. Look, this is unacceptable; from a business point of view – like yourself, I cannot sit back and watch my business preform like a diesel truck running on regular fuel. There is a problem with your product. With you being a smart man and all, I would expect you to do a total recall here. There is salmonella in your meatloaf, quit making people sick and take your garbage off the shelf until you’ve gotten rid of the disease.
Without going into grave detail, you know the issues surrounding your product; and if you don’t know, then perhaps being an owner is not best suited for a man such as yourself. Being an owner isn’t exactly the same as General Manager or the Coach, but make no mistake, THEY WORK FOR YOU! If they are steering your Titanic into an iceberg, then I expect you to step in and make a change. I realize you made a difficult decision not even two years ago now, but your product is about to miss out on a great opportunity to capitalize on making millions of dollars for your heavy pockets. If you haven’t been paying attention, your teams’ piss-poor play has them barely hanging onto a playoff spot, so unless you step up and do something about it, you won’t be making much money this year. And don’t you dare give me some politically correct response about how you don’t worship money. You and your 29 other buddies are the reason that the NHL just went through an unreasonable lockout.
Your team is flat out too small, too defensive and can’t even score a goal. Your coach is a useless, hypocritical player-killer. Your manager doesn’t seem to know what he’s doing. Look, there’s a problem with your product, plain and simple. So man up and do what any owner would do, step in and make a change. A simple phone call to Marc Bergevin telling him to smarten up or get fired would do great things for your club. It’s long overdue.
I came to you Mr. Molson because I’ve called out Michel Therrien, I’ve called out Marc Bergevin, and since they’re both too stubborn to make any reasonable changes, I’ve come to you because at the end of the day, you write out the cheques. You own this team, and I want to believe that somewhere deep down in your heart, that you actually care about the CH. I really want to believe you love this city and want to bring Lord Stanley back to Montreal. I want to believe again Geoff, please let me believe.
Sincerely, an embarrassed, a pissed off, fed-up Habs fanatic.