Embellishment City: Boston Bruins

Claimed unintentional, only given a fine (Photo: RDS)

Claimed unintentional, only given a fine (Photo: RDS)

An armpit is generally a dirty, stinky and unpleasant part of the human body, and is used sometimes in regards to compare metaphors, for instance: A cow farm built right in the middle of a city would be considered as the armpit of that city. In respect to the NHL however, one could argue that both the Phoenix Coyotes and Columbus Blue Jackets have reeked of a disgusting odor for years and years. Even though an armpit is usually a dirty and disgusting part of the body, there is deodorant for that; Shane Doan, and most recently Sergei Bobrovsky have been the Coyotes and Jackets anti-perspirant. There is one more NHL team deserving of a disgusting body part, but an armpit just is not an accurate enough term to describe the dirtiest franchise in hockey: the Boston Bruins. A disgusting, dirty, cheap, classless organization that praises injuring the opposition is what the Boston Bruins are. An armpit simply does not give the proper metaphor here, but I believe a butt crack certainly does justice.

When was the last time you, as a hockey fan, saw a fight break out into the stands? Perhaps at your child’s peewee game, a few parents had a disagreement with a coach or referee and maybe a scuffle ensued. However, have you ever seen a player jump over the glass and start unloading punches on the fans? Well, only the classless and gutless Boston Bruins would ever do such a thing. Sure, Milbury beating a fan with a shoe was over 30 years ago, but he was one of half a dozen other Bruins in the stands punching fans at Madison Square Garden. Of course fighting in the stands with fans would be seriously disciplined for in today’s NHL, but thank Boston for making sure it never happens again.

Peter Chiarelli: “Our players are generally clean.” 

Suspended for 5 games (Photo: Bob DeChiara/US Presswire)

Suspended for 5 games (Photo: Bob DeChiara/US Presswire)

The Florida Panthers became famous for the “Rat-Trick” in 1996 after- now Habs’ Director of Player Personnel, Scott Mellanby, killed a rat in the locker room before later scoring two goals that same night. Panthers fans came up with a clever idea to throw plastic rats onto the ice after every goal, and as we learned last year, is now done after Florida wins a home playoff game (but Panthers banned the selling of them). Why am I talking about this you ask? Well the Bruins decided to add their 10 cents on the “rat-trick” by having Brad Marchand in their line up; for a lot more than 10 cents, as he will make $4.5 million per year after this season. In my opinion, this might be an overpayment. “Pinocchio”, as some may call him, is easily the biggest rat in the league. Clipping, diving, chirping and turtling are all the perfect qualifications to be a Boston Bruin and Brad aces every one of them. Marchand is a classless person, who acts the same off the ice as he does on it, an ignorant and selfish human being, with no respect for anyone but himself.

There’s no need to discuss that scary night on March 8th two years ago, as much as many fans around the league hate him, I refuse to discuss the dirty hit Chara delivered to Max Pacioretty that went unpunished. Pacioretty has forgiven Zdeno and moved on, I suggest we all follow in Max’s footsteps. There are plenty of other reasons to detest Chara however, such as when he decided to jump Alexei Emelin for knocking Tyler Seguin to the ice which only resulted in him costing his team. Another classless Bruin is Milan Lucic, who I’m sure we do not have to go to great lengths to discuss. He has “graced” the Canadiens with his presence many times. Just ask Jaroslav Spacek how he felt after Lucic completely drilled him into the glass from behind in the 2011 conference finals. Freddy Mayer, Max Lapierre, Mike Van Ryn, and with no surprise, Ryan Miller will all attest to the fact that Milan Lucic is in fact, a huge goon. The Bruins have plenty of these types of players on their roster; to add to the names I’ve already mentioned, Shawn Thornton, Daniel Paille, Gregory Campbell, Johnny Boychuk, Adam McQuaid and Andrew Ference can all be labeled as “meatheads”. The Boston Bruins of today can be compared to and are even arguably worse than the Broad Street Bullies of the 1970 Philadelphia Flyers were.

It was no coincidence that the Boston Bruins received only a few suspensions on their road to their first Stanley  Stanley Cup in over 40 years. Colin Campbell; Gregory’s father, was the director of player safety in 2011 and was replaced the following year. Lucic got off with a warning after steamrolling Ryan Miller. Chara didn’t even get a phone hearing after breaking Pacioretty’s neck. And you’re telling me Colin Campbell had nothing to do with that? Does a bear poop in the woods? Get real people.

HaggertyHow fitting is it that not only the players in the Bruins uniforms are classless, but also their writers, reporters, directors, coaches, managers and their owner Jeremy Jacobs are all ignorant, biased and classless people? (I will say though, that I have tremendous respect for Doug Jarvis who is the uncle of very close friends of mine, and he was a great player in his hay day, so no hate to Dougie). Joe Haggerty (see photo) decided to speak up about Emelin after news about his torn ligament injury was reported. Not only does he cross the line in what he says, he could not be more wrong. Emelin is one of the cleanest hitters in the entire NHL and hardly gets penalized because they are just that, clean. The incident with Lucic was not Emelin taking a run at the big forward nor did he leave his feet prior to impact. Perhaps we should sign this guy up for a physics course. And does anybody actually listen to Jack Edwards? His homer calls bring a whole new aspect to the world of play-by-play analyst. Granted that at times he does say some things that will surprise you. Owner Jeremy Jacobs was one of Gary Bettman’s right hand men throughout the lockout. Jacob’s continually pushed and pressured Bettman to go after more money and not agree with the NHLPA’s counter-offers. Who is Jeremy Jacob’s anyway? Why was he given so much leeway, approval and respect from Bettman? That sure sounds fishy to me, considering Geoff Molson; who owns the most important and historic NHL franchise, was not a huge part of the lockout in any way whatsoever. Jeremy Jacobs deserves credit for making the lockout last longer than it should have. Leave it to the Bruins owner to contribute to the lockout.

Wheel Of ExcusesEvery game this season between the Habs and Bruins has been at least somewhat heated. Head Coach Claude Julien has gone on record to say that Montreal is full of diving, embellishing players who whine and chirp the referees. It seems no matter how obvious the loss was, Boston will always have an excuse as to why they were defeated. The ignorance is disgusting, wake up and smell the coffee. After the game Saturday night (April 6th), David Krejci decided to blame the ice in the Bell Centre for their lack of a shooting on the powerplay in the final minute of the game in which they lost 2-1 to Montreal. That’s right, Krejci blamed the ICE (mentioned in this article), what an absolute joke. Were the Canadiens not playing on the same sheet of ice? Leave it to newcomer Jaromir Jagr to quickly dismiss that accusation and act like a true professional. He really seems out of place playing for that team.

The Boston Bruins organization can be referred to as a variety of names and this isn’t coming from just Habs fans either. Other fan bases have picked up on the stench that is pouring out of Boston’s black and yellow. What type of organization preaches to their players that having a severe case of ‘douchebagitis’ is not only acceptable, but welcomed and encouraged? Clearly an armpit is not a strong enough term to describe how dirty, cheap and disgusting this franchise has been and continues to be. Why would anyone ever cheer for this team? There are fans of the Bruins that do not buy into the garbage that is spewed but overall, it seems like it is across most of their group of supporters. Whether it is on social media sites like Facebook and Twitter or face-to-face, a large amount of Bruins fans take on the role that players mentioned above do on the ice. With all that being said, screw the Boston Bruins.

Some other links:

And so on..

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7 Responses to Embellishment City: Boston Bruins

  1. You want to talk bias? I’d start off by taking down the article as that’s the most bias in that entire page. You seem to be forgetting some things about the “turtling” and “diving” that is the Habs prize Dman P.K Subban. The only player that will go to remove his helmet for a fight so his opponent will then keep it on. Now back on the Bruins topic, the “Big Bad Bruins” didnt get their nickname over night. Leave it to a Habs fan to complain about the physical play of hockey. If you can’t take a hit, go play soccer. There’s plenty of room for whiners in that sport. Brad Marchand is currently leading the Bruins in scoring. Something that is not done by “a rat” but a very skilled hockey player. In his rookie season, remember 2011? I’m sure you Habs fans must! That’s when the Bruins won the cup! Marchand scored 21 goals in regular season. Now as for Chara beating Emelin to a pulp, you want to talk about dirty plays? Emelin didn’t “hit Seguin” HE BROKE HIS STICK OVER HIM WITH A CROSS CHECK! But once again, the Canadiens? No! They’d never do something like that, that’s what the Bruins do! No call on the play. So another justifiable assault by Chara. If you don’t stand up for a teammate in that situation, you’d better not be wearing a C! I could go on more about how classes the Canadiens, their fans, and most of all sports writers are, but after reading article after article like this one it pretty much speaks for itself now doesn’t it.

    Evan April 9, 2013 at 7:23 pm Reply
    • This is quite the humorous reply. I will point something out in particular though. How is going from one end of the ice to the other just to attack someone justifiable? It cost you. The most important thing to do is win the hockey game. It’s not the first time Chara has cost the Bruins a game and it won’t be the last. While I personally think Marchand is a good player, he does extra crap that makes him labeled as a ‘rat’ to many across the hockey world and not just by Montreal fans.

      Michael Gomez April 9, 2013 at 11:00 pm Reply
  2. Evan, I would take your comments seriously if you took your Bruins glasses off. Sure Marchand can score, doesn’t mean he’s not a rat, all 29 other teams in the league know how cheap and dirty he is, he is a rat. As for PK Subban, hate on him all you want, he is not a diver, not in the slightest, sure he sells some calls here and there, every player & team does the same thing, but PK is not a diver, i refuse to believe or agree with that garbage. Look at his points, he is going to win the Norris, all i hear from you is “wah”. Emelin already had a broken stick when he touched seguin, but of course Seguin fell as if shot, and then came back next shift. And Chara being the bear he is got 17 minutes in penalties for jumping Emelin, ya good captain… Emelin is the cleanest big hitter in the NHL, watch him play. I’m not just a Habs fan complaining about physicality, youre quite the biased person yourself. THis is hockey, rough and tough hockey is the best, but dirty, illegal & cheap hockey is how the Bruins play, they do not just play physical, they intend to injure. Thank you for reminding myself and others just how biased and unrealistic you Bruins fans are. Have a nice day

    Colton April 10, 2013 at 6:38 am Reply
  3. Yup, your all right. Maybe every bruins body check should undergo criminal investigation! There’s an idea. Habs are the best. They do no wrong.

    Evan April 10, 2013 at 7:28 pm Reply
    • Do you have any new material to bring to the table? Habs fan base is too large to generalize and bring up this ‘criminal investigation’ bull.

      Michael Gomez April 11, 2013 at 10:57 pm Reply
  4. 🙂 please keep the hate coming… there’s not much better than a bitter habs fan. Only regret this playoff run is that we weren’t the ones to oust you. There’s always next year. 😉

    Robert Gordon June 17, 2013 at 11:10 pm Reply
    • Cute

      Michael Gomez June 18, 2013 at 12:52 am Reply

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